


The Avengers Group Chat No One Wanted But Got Anyways

by topmad



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adding more later - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Avengers Family, Bisexual Avengers, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Has Cats, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Chatting & Messaging, Crack Treated Seriously, Cuties, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Funny, Gay, M/M, Marvel Universe, Might get serious, Multi, New York City, PTSD friends, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, T'Challa is grumpy, Texting, This Is STUPID, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, What Was I Thinking?, everyone is happy, fast paced, group chat au, that's all for now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-18 09:23:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8157187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topmad/pseuds/topmad
Summary: Tony adds the Avengers to a group chat. Chaos ensues. TOTALLY CRACK AND RANDOM.





	1. Super Dorks

**Author's Note:**

> Names:  
> Spangles - Steve  
> Bucky - Prosthetic  
> Sam - Bird man #2 then #1  
> Natasha - Girl with spider name  
> Clint - Bird man #1 then Arrow man  
> Bruce - Anger issues   
> Tony - BPP (Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist)  
> Thor - Goldilocks  
> Wanda - Weird one  
> Vision - 20/20  
> Rhodey - Bro  
> Scott - Insect  
> T'Challa - Kitty cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is grumpy and confused

' _BPP added Spangles, Prosthetic, Bird man #1, Bird man #2, girl with Spider name, Anger issues, Goldilocks, Kitty cat, weird one, 20/20, Bro, and insect to the group chat: Super dorks_ '

 

BPP: Suh

 

Prosthetic: wth

 

Prosthetic: why

 

Girl with spider name: Tony when did you think to yourself that making a group chat was a good idea?

 

BPP: five minutes ago

 

Spangles: r u kidding me rn

 

Bird man #2: why was I added to this

 

Kitty cat: same

 

BPP: Bc I'm great and we should all get lit together

 

Insect: it's 1 in the morning wth man

 

Anger issues: I'm offended by my name

 

BPP: sucks to suck

 

Anger issues: fuq u

 

BPP: would if I could

 

BPP: OMG

 

BPP: I should make a robot of myself to do that

 

Bird man #1: wtf did I just come into

 

Prosthetic: Tony wants to fuq himself

 

Spangles: language

 

BPP: stfu we've already gone through this

 

Goldilocks: hello fellow peasants

 

BPP: oh heLL NO

 

BPP: YOU CANT CALL ME A PEASANT, PEASANT

 

Kitty cat: why am I here

 

Weird one: just about to ask that

 

Anger issues: FREN

 

Weird one: HI BRUCE

 

Anger issues: WANDA AY

 

20/20: chill

 

Prosthetic: ooooh is someone peanut butter and jelly

 

Spangles: Buck, just no

 

' _Bird man #1 changed his name to arrow man_ '

 

Girl with spider name: good job Clint

 

Arrow man: I try

 

Bird man #2: does that mean I'm #1 now

 

Arrow man: yes Sam, you reign supreme of being a bird and a man

 

' _Arrow man changed bird man #2 to bird man #1_ '

 

Bird man #1: yee

 

Prosthetic: Noice

 

Insect: ALL OF U GO TO BED

 

Spangles: don't yell at us, it hurts my ear drums

 

Insect: we aRE TEXTINGN

 

BPP: whatever

 

' _seen by everyone 1:25 am_ '


	2. Howler af

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never leave your cat with your bff while you get pretzels is basically the moral of this chapter.

' _12:45 pm_ '

 

' _Spangles sent an image_ '

 

Spangles: loOK AT BUCKY'S CAT AND I

 

Anger issues: awee it's cute

 

Spangles: Ikr

 

BPP: Why r u with Bucky's cat at a park?

 

Prosthetic: I walk it

 

BPP: wth why

 

Prosthetic: cause

 

Prosthetic: I don't have a reason

 

Arrow man: lmao

 

Spangles: Clint did u see me with Howler

 

BPP: why his name Howler tho

 

Prosthetic: It was a long time ago

 

Insect: oh no what did I just log on to

 

Prosthetic: WWII

 

Arrow man: okay...

 

Prosthetic: ah I'm to tired to say the whole story. His names Howler cause of our team the Howling Commandos in WWII

 

Spangles: may they rest in peace

 

BPP: wow this got sad real fast

 

' _Spangles sent an image_ '

 

Spangles: LOOK HES IN A TREE

 

Prosthetic: wHAT

 

Prosthetic: STEVE HE CANT CLIMB DOWN FROM THERE

 

Insect: oh

 

Insect: well

 

Spangles: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT

 

Anger issues: why are u texting each other

 

Prosthetic: CAUSE IM STANDING IN LINE TO GET US PRETZELS AT THE VENDOR

 

Spangles: he'S CLIMBING HIGHER

 

Prosthetic: okay I got the pretzels I'm coming

 

Insect: I like how you waited for your  
Pretzels

 

Arrow man: same Bucky same

 

Prosthetic: Steve wherE ARE YOU

 

Spangles: I'm on your left

 

Girl with spider name: what is happening

 

Arrow man: Steve let Bucky's cat climb a tree and it can't come down

 

Girl with spider name: o

 

' _Spangles sent an image_ '

 

Spangles: BUCKY IS CLIMBING THE TREE

 

Bird man #1: omg he's high up

 

Bird man #1: Steve if Bucky dies tell him he was my favorite

 

Spangles: wait what

 

Arrow man: HOLY SHIT I CAN SEE YOU TWO

 

Spangles: where

 

Arrow man: I'm coming

 

' _Arrow man sent an image_ '

 

BPP: why did you two take a selfie whEN BUCKY AND HIS CAT COULD FALL AND DIE

 

Arrow man: it's chill bro calm

 

Anger issues: if Bucky dies but Howler is alive I call dibs

 

Spangles: sucks to b u cause Howler is given to me through Bucky's will

 

Arrow man: wut

 

Anger issues: wut

 

Girl with spider name: wut

 

Insect: wut

 

Bird man #1: I knew that already

 

BPP: hey wait when Bucky died did you get his stuff

 

Spangles: yeah, I was the only one mentioned in his will

 

BPP: oh

 

BPP: sorry for your loss

 

Prosthetic: I'm nOT DEAD

 

Bird man #1: BUCKY

 

Bird man #1: MY FAV

 

Spangles: Bucky got a scratch on his arm haha

 

' _Spangles sent an image_ '

 

BPP: ew no thanks

 

Anger issues: nothing a little infused super serum won't heal

 

Prosthetic: stfu Bruce

 

Anger issues: sorry, too soon

 

Insect: how r the pretzels tho

 

Spangles: 10/10 would eat again

 

Prosthetic: Clint ate half of mine

 

Insect: o

 

Insect: sorry for your loss

 

BPP: may Bucky's pretzel R.I.P

 

Arrow man: it's resting in peace in my tummy

 

Prosthetic: go to hell

 

Arrow man: okay

 

Spangles: Bucky be nice

 

Prosthetic: but Steveeee

 

Prosthetic: wait where is Clint going

 

Prosthetic: I asked him and he said Tonys place

 

Arrow man: you told me to go to hell so that's where I'm headed

 

BPP: WHY IS MY PLACE HELL

 

Arrow man: u have the same beard as the devil

 

BPP: wut

 

Arrow man: u heard me

 

BPP: I dO NOT

 

Bird man #1: I'm crying oml

 

' _Bird man #1 sent an image_ '

 

Bird man #1: I typed in Satan goatee and it looKS EXACTLY LIKE YOUR BEARD STARK

 

BPP: FIGHT ME

 

Arrow man: alright m8 lets go

 

Spangles: Bucky is on the ground laughing cause of that picture

 

Spangles: he told me to tell everyone that Tony got roasted

 

BPP: I'm noT THE DEVIL

 

Anger issues: howdy everyone I'm back

 

Anger issues: oh

 

Anger issues: bad time?

 

Bird man #1: you mean best time

 

Anger issues: Tony, Hun, you aren't the devil

 

Prosthetic: HUN

 

Prosthetic: ITS CANON

 

Prosthetic: MY OTP

 

BPP: wth m8

 

Prosthetic: SAM YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS

 

Bird man #1: nicknames don't count

 

Anger issues: what did u even bet on

 

Spangles: they took their pick on potential couples and bet on who would say anything first

 

BPP: that's dumb

 

Prosthetic: NOT IF ITS TRUE LOVE

 

Girl with spider name: I bet too

 

Insect: same

 

BPP: why

 

Prosthetic: TRUE LOVE

 

Kitty cat: would u all stfu I'm in an important meeting

 

20/20: just leave

 

BPP: nO

 

BPP: STAY PLS T'CHALLA

 

Kitty cat: fine, if u all stop talking rn

 

Prosthetic: okay everyone stfu

 

' _seen by everyone 3:48 pm_ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK UP 'DEVIL GOATEE' AND TELL ME IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE TONY'S


	3. Spoopy

' _3:45 am_ '

 

BPP: waIT

 

BPP: IT'S OCTOBER

 

BPP: SPOOK IS COMING

 

Prosthetic: why THE HELL are you texting everyone at almost 4 in the morning Stark

 

BPP: Because SPOOKY

 

Anger issues: I will literally punch you in the throat

 

BPP: See, this is why I nicknamed you that in this convo 

 

Anger issues: kys

 

BPP: rude

 

20/20: Good, ppl are awake

 

Prosthetic: why are you happy bout that

 

20/20: I don't sleep, it get's lonely

 

Spangles: you do know that half of us are always awake because of insomnia produced by our PTSD

 

BPP: oh shit

 

Prosthetic: He has a point tho

 

BPP: tru

 

Arrow man: can you all go kys

 

Goldilocks: WAIT

 

Goldilocks: IS THIS THAT TIME OF YEAR YOU EARTHLINGS DRESS UP AND GET FREE CANDY

 

Prosthetic: alright, who gave him a phone

 

BPP: THOR YES IT IS

 

BPP: MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

 

Spangles: thought that was Christmas and Fourth of July

 

Prosthetic: you would say Fourth of July wouldn't you

 

Spangles: What? Just because it's mine and America's birthday? I find that goals

 

Prosthetic: wemn

 

Spangles: wut

 

Prosthetic: what ever major nerd

 

Spangles: oh

 

Spangles: hey wait a minute

 

Kitty cat: I will literally slice all of your throats, get some sleep

 

BPP: Okay, but just remember, spoopy

 

' _Seen by everyone 4:13 am_ '


	4. Chapter 4

' _1:45 p.m_ '

 

Spangles: What are you all being for Halloween?

 

BPP: Your mom

 

Spangles: Get a life

 

BPP: Already have one, it's lit ;)

 

Goldilocks: Bucky instructed that I should go as a sheet man

 

Prosthetic: Ghost Thor, Ghost

 

Goldilocks: Oh, a ghost then

 

Kitty Kat: Sam and I are going as Ghost busters

 

Arrow man: I'm going as a Newspaper

 

The girl with the spider name: A ink pen

 

Weird one: Vision and I decided to go as Hogwarts students

 

Prosthetic: hey, I get that reference

 

Spangles: Same

 

Insect: My daughter and I are going as a bumble bee and a honey jar

 

The girl with the spider name: Aw that's cute

 

Anger issues: I don't do Halloween

 

Spangles: AWWWW WHY NOT

 

Anger issues: idk, doesn't really suit my interests

 

Spangles: Go with Bucky, Sam, T'Challa, and I

 

BPP: What are you and Bucky anyways

 

Prosthetic: I'm gonna wear my Military uniform

 

Spangles: Captain America outfit

 

BPP: so you are going as yourselves?

 

Prosthetic: yes

 

BPP: noice

 

Spangles: ikr

 

Prosthetic: What are you going as

 

BPP: idk yet, maybe someone really hot, like your mom ;)

 

Prosthetic: My mom? How do you know what she looks like

 

BPP: It was a joke 

 

Prosthetic: Oh

 

Prosthetic: haha 

 

 ' _seen by everyone 1:56 pm_ '


End file.
